As Big As A Whale A Slow As A Turtle As Dumb As Frank
Jun 14, 2008"as big as a whale, as slow as a turtle, as dumb as frank" That's Vista of course! Perfect description!
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Microsoft Should Dumb It's Bloat Code Operating System
Mar 30, 2008Microsoft should dumb it's bloat code operating system and build a nice fast Microsoft Windows manager to run on Linux. It could be similar to Apples OS X that runs on BSD Unix.
View 9 Replies View RelatedSound Dumb Buts Dose Vista Sp1 Make Its Run Slower
Apr 11, 2008this goings to sound dumb buts dose vista sp1 make its run slower ors is it like every one is on the web tonight? seams to make things running slower n was wonderings if any one else was having this issue?
View 9 Replies View RelatedTypical Day Of Frank
Apr 27, 20088:00 Frank wakes up to the vista start sound alarm he has ordered especially made for him. 8:05 He shuffles towards the mirror and smiles. The cracked Mirror cracks some more from the sight of his ugly maw. 8:06 He takes a good close look at his reflection and with a singing voice declares " Ohhhh .. what a handsome guy you are todayyyyyy!!!" The cockroaches under his bead squirm from the agony of this horrid voice. 8:10 He washes his face and notices a bottle of pills in front of him. Gee my doctor said something about those pills..Prozac? I cant remember what that is.. no need, Im FINE!!!! Anyway I know much more than any doctor! HMMMFFFF!
8:12 I don't have much time for breakfast! Frank grabs a can of luncheon meat from a drawer... he takes a look at the label: SPAM! Now Im an expert at THAT! He things to himself and gobbles the whole can down in a few gulps.. Wow..that was a heck of a tasty pig!!! I wonder if it was wearing lipstick when they killed it.. nah.. it wasn't made in Redmond! Ha!
8:15 TIME TO GO TO WORK!!! He shuffles towards his desk, tugs his long tail so it wont be in the way, and sits his fat ars down on the chair.. the chair shivers from agony from the smell and weight of his rear end (the desk in the same room as his bed by the way) and turns on the computer....the screen reads REDHAT LINUX 6.0, but after several minutes his trusty 486 boots up to a vista themed GUI. "Heck as long as it looks like vista, I don't care what it really is", he thinks to himself and shrugs'
8:30 Let me check in to my company to see if the boys are there and working hard. I don't pay them to be lazy anyway! 8:32 Frank calls the number.
Frank: Good morning.......................
Instructions For Frank
Jul 5, 2008If you can find Puerta del Sol, be sure and wear a shirt with a sign on it that says "Frank the Wank" so I know who to put in the hospital and who to put something in the pants pocket to make sure you do some time in a Spanish prison.
View 9 Replies View RelatedWhy I Stopped Replying To Frank
Apr 6, 2009One cannot reason with a mentally ill person like Frank.
View 9 Replies View RelatedFrank And Alias & All Their Juvenile BS?
Mar 18, 2009Is anyone monitoring this group? If so, Y haven't U barred Frank and Alias & all their juvenile BS??
View 9 Replies View RelatedVista Newsgroup When Frank Retires
Apr 21, 2008My goal is to take over this vista newsgroup when Frank retires. That's why I have been very busy studying under Master Frank the art of Trolling. I have been painstakingly reading through the millions of posts of frank in this newsgroup so I can learn as much as possible. Frank indeed is the master of posting day and night, and yet saying nothing.This is a skill I have learned now! Also I have learned by heart all the fast insults Frank has used against his dreaded enemies, that involve sheep, medications, cardboard spaceships, and variety of colorful bad words.
I also do the same daily vista prayer frank does every day.. even though like him I never owned vista! The art of scaring off a newsgroup opponent by magnifying my riches, abilities, intelligence, number of owned computers, and even good looks, is something that Frank has taught me well. It doesn't matter if Im a creep, fat and stupid as a retard, as long as my newsgroup opponent doesn't know, I will always be able to win! I also have learned the same great computer skills Frank has, that includes not being able to import the data from one news client to another, the fear of clicking on links in newsgroups messages, and the inability to view flash video...............
Congratulations To Spanky, Bill, And Frank
Jun 19, 2008It takes teamwork to bring down the biggest clown on the
Internet, Adam Albright. I know it was a tough few weeks but working
together to achieve this goal is great for all visitors to the Vista.General
forum.
I don't know how the Administration here at Vista.General Can thank you
guys, but you get a big thumbs up! Keep up the good work!
Spankey DeMonkey And Frank Should Get Married, Just FYI.
May 19, 2008Spankey DeMonkey And Frank Should Get Married, Just FYI.
View 9 Replies View RelatedUbuntu, Printers, Scanners And Frank The Wank
Apr 22, 2008Frank the Wank, has deserted that thread when I proved that installing a printer and/or scanner on Ubuntu is MUCH easier than Windows of any flavor. Interesting how when Frank the Wank is refuted, he goes and hides in a corner
View 9 Replies View RelatedRequest To Frank And Discovery Of Atomic Energy
Apr 13, 2008If you just happen to be abducted by the crab people of the Andromeda nebula or another alien race, and they so happen to ask you what are some of the greatest accomplishments of mankind are... you can say the pyramids, our landing to the moon, our discovery of atomic energy..
View 9 Replies View RelatedPing Gary, Mac, Brink, Robertmiles, Frank, Dave
Mar 23, 2008Since 90% + of the questions posted to this newsgroup have been asked and answered umpteen times, get together and write a FAQ.
View 5 Replies View RelatedWhere Do Frank And Yanaire Fit On The Scale: Turkeys Die Of Heart Attacks If They Get Scared By Too Many Other Turkeys Gobbling At Once?
Jun 25, 2008A turkey, which many consider the dumest of all animals can literally drown if it is left out in the middle of a thunderstorm because it often will look up at the sky with it's mouth open and can end up trying to swallow so much rain in time it falls over dead. It has also been reported that turkeys die of heart attacks if they get scared by too many other turkeys gobbling at once. Some turkeys are so stupid they forgot how to eat and need to be hand fed. Turkeys because they are breed to have extra large breasts can no longer mate naturally. Still many try to hump large rocks fall off, ending up gasping for air and again die of a heart attacks. A possum will sit still and let another possum chew off it's tail or ears and make no effort to get away. Dogs routinely eat their own vomit. Turtles in an emergency can breath through their butts. A cow can be led up a flight of stairs, but will refuse to go down the same stairs no matter what. What does this have to do with Frank and Yanaire? All the listed animals are way smarter than these two buffoons.
View 9 Replies View RelatedSlow Shared Printer - Extrememly Slow Shared Printer
Jul 29, 2009Problem:
1) Extremely slow shared printer response
2) application nonresponsive while printing
Network Topography:
1 Vista Home Premium 32 PC
1 Vista Home Premium 64 PC
Cisco SD2008 Switch
1 HP 4050 Laserjet (Parallel connected to Vista 32 Machine above)
Configuration of Printer:
Connected via parallel to Vista 32 machine
Printer is configured for sharing and is installed on both machines
test pages print successfully from both machines
Additional notes:
During printer setup on the Vista 32 machine, I attempted to install
additional 64x drivers, but could not locate them, so I skipped this step.
During printer setup on the Vista 64 machine, the shared printers were
identified successfully, and I added the network printer. I was not asked to
install drivers the way I have in the past when adding a local printer.
Printing using the shared printer on the local machine Vista 32 performs
with normal speeds. Printing from the network computer Vista 64 using the
shared printer installed on Vista 32 is extremely slow. Even typing in print
job changes in the print dialog window takes 30 seconds or so for each key
stroke to register a response onscreen.
Slow
Jun 20, 2008I just bought a new laptop a Dell XPS 1330, with Vista. And it is slow in launching everything. Once I'm in a program, it's usually okay, but it takes 5-10 seconds just to open the start menu, or switch between programs, or open a program is more like 20-30 seconds. It's even slower if I'm coming out of sleep mode, it never gets faster, I always have to boot even though I see nothing in the task manager. Is this the way it is supposed to be, and if not, how can I tell if this is a Vista problem or the laptop? My cpu runs at about 3% capacity and my ram is around 50 when no applications are open.
View 9 Replies View RelatedWhy Has My Become So Slow?
Jul 28, 2008My Vista x64 Ultimate was fast at first, but now after around 6months it has been slower. I have cleaned all Vista components and uninstalled unnecessary softwares/games. My HDD has 70% space remaining and its defragged. I have fast AVG antivirus and when I try to open a new folder, let's say my documents folder, it opens it fast but its all blank white and it keeps loading for like 3-5 seconds and then the contents show up. What's wrong? I expect an immediately folder content showing up especially when I have 3.55 GHz quad core and 8800 GTX T_T
View 9 Replies View RelatedFix For Slow IE
May 14, 2009I have found a solution for slow IE problem, it made my browsing extreamly faster.
Tools-> manage add-ons-> enable or disable add-ons
under enabled section look for "SSVHelperClass"(java plugin add-on) and highlight then click disable button.
Restart IE and you could see the difference.
Several RAM And Slow Down To The FSB Of The CPU?
Apr 3, 2008Since my CPU is 1333, if I install DDR-2 800 rams, my ratio will be 5:4 or something like that.
1. Will my rams slow down to the FSB of the CPU?
2. If yes, what is the point in installing faster rams if they are slowing down to the FSB of the CPU?
3. If there is a benefit, what is it?
4. If rams are faster, do they somehow increase the performance of the graphics cards? (For, both ATI and NVIDIA make use of the system ram Hyper Memory and Turbo Cache)
5. Wouldn't it be effected by CPU's FSB? Lets say you have a DDR-4 graphics card, and your rams are DDR-2 800, rams are slower than the card, and CPU is slower than both of them.
Slow Startup
May 6, 2009I purchased my system (Laptop, dual core HP Paviolion dv6700) and installed vista home premium in December 2008. In the beginning system's performance was good but now (within 6 months) it starts so slow. What may be the problem.
View 5 Replies View RelatedWireless Slow Down
Nov 2, 2008I am on Vista Home Premium 32bit
Recently my Wireless has slowed down.
I have used speedtest.net to check my speed and i was getting at around 3mb
I tried with my XP Laptop and i got at around 11mb
They are both in the same location.
Can anyone help me find out why i get such low speeds on my PC than i do on my Laptop.
Clock Has Gone Slow
Feb 6, 2009Desktop 6 months old and time gone haywire today.Updated it a number of times but keeps going slow>
View 9 Replies View RelatedIE8 Slow To Close
May 15, 2010I searched for "IE8" and it said no results...find that a little hard to believe
Anyways, odd problem to have. After being logged into Winders for a little while, doing some surfing, etc., I'll go to close IE8, click the red x, and it'll just sit there for 5-6 seconds, and then finally close. If I log off and log back on, it'll behave properly, but sooner or later will start to act up again.
Anyone else run into this? I'm running IE7Pro, but I've been running that for a while now and this has only recently popped up.
Very Slow Performance With 32
Mar 23, 2008I have a Sony Vaio VGN-FZ11S, with Vista Home 32. The laptop has a Core 2 Duo T7100 @1.8GHz and 2Gb RAM. I run Office 2007, Dreamweaver, Flash, Fireworks, Corel, etc... Sometimes the machine becomes so slow I almost fall asleep (literally!) while waiting for it do perform a simple task such as opening IE or showing a menu or opening an email message. I should add that my PST has 5.6 Gb. I'd like to reduce its size, although I don't think it is the cause of the slow running, but I need to keep many emails... I have talked with Sony and they simply refuse to let their customers downgrade to Xp. So, besides tweaking (which I don't know how to), what can I do to my laptop to avoid these episodes of EXTREMELY slow running?
View 9 Replies View RelatedVery Slow & Lagging
Nov 12, 2009my browsing with vista is very slow & lagging no matter which browser i use IE or firefox.
View 9 Replies View RelatedIE 8 Too Slow / Wish To Revert To IE 7
Mar 22, 2009I have have continuous slow response in loading of web pages since install IE 8.Am running on a 5 meg internet connection and at times loading a simple Amazon page will take 85 seconds. Totally unacceptable when it was instantious with IE 7.How do I return to IE 7 as attempts to do so thru MS site informs me of a 2 hr plus download?
View 9 Replies View RelatedVery Slow Bootup
Sep 4, 2009I am experiencing very slow boot up of Vista Home Premium 32 bit. It takes good 10 - 12 minutes to completely boot up. I am using Dell desk top inspiron with 4 Gb RAM. I did some research and learnt how to filter the event log and diagnose where the degradation occurs. In my case, a lot of degradation found in loading drivers like sound and video. Also AVG resident shield slows down.
When I first turn on the system, black screen with a mouse curser appears for two - three minutes. Then Welcome message appears and again it blanks out for another two to three minutes. Then the desk top appears and the icons are slowly appearing. By the time complete boot is in place - system idle mode, it is ten to twelve minutes.
Slow Down On 15-20 Web Pages
Sep 26, 2009I'm running a dell dual core with 2 gb of memory and a 200 gig hard drive, with Mozilla Firefox. In the past I have been able to peruse perhaps 15-20 web pages, reduced in size and it hasn't slowed down at all. All of a sudden after four or five windows accrue the computer comes to nearly a stop and it takes forever to load that last page. I have to wait a long time before I can even close the windows.
I have cleared all the temp files and cache, removed cookies and cleaned everything up.
Ultimate X64 Very Slow
Apr 13, 2008Iīve just built a new PC 4gb ram, intel quad 6600 Asus p5b SE mobo. I installed Vista ultimate on it and itīs taking 5 minutes to start up and it took 5 hours to install COD4! everything is very slow. I installed XP Pro 32 Bit on it.. and it performs as fast as i expected. I installed Vista Home Premium from an Acer recover disk i had laying around 32 bit again and once again itīs quick.
View 9 Replies View RelatedIE Opens So Slow
Sep 22, 2008Until yesterday my internet worked fantastic. I could click on a favorite or my homepage and instantly be on the site. Now, all the sudden whenever I click on a page it takes 10-15 seconds (sometimes more) before the page 'hits'. It will then load as fast as before. The problem is this new 'waiting period' before the page loads. I have a high speed connection with 27795 kbs down and 958 kbs up. I thought maybe my browser had become corrupt somehow so I upgraded to IE8 but still have the same problem. My system is spyware and virus free (just checked twice).
View 9 Replies View RelatedUltra-slow!
Apr 2, 2008I don't know if the cause is the update from Acrobat from ver. 8 Professional to 8.1.2 but now notebok start-up takes 10 or more minutes and then my user start-up takes other 10-20 minutes! In other words, it's extremely slow from when I turn it on to when I turn if off, you can't use it anymore!
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